Doing your Colonial Shadow Work
This is the fourth and final part in a series on Colonialism, Racism, and Shadow Work.
To read Part 3, please click here. To Read Part 1, please click here. To read Part 2, please click here.
In our last discussion, we spoke to the way colonialism and racism manifests in wellness spaces because of a lack of healing and recognition of our racist and colonial shadows that have been passed down through generations of colonial and colonized bodies. This week I want to speak to how we can recognize and work with our shadows to find healing and wellness for ourselves and those around us.
So. How can you do the work?
The first thing you must be able to do when dealing with any shadow, is acknowledge that the shadow exists. Dr Daniel Siegel coined the phrase “name it to tame it”. If you recognize that there’s a wound (naming it), you can work on the wound (taming it). Noticing the wounded shadow is a great step. It makes the unconscious conscious. You can follow this step to recognize any wound or shadow in your life.
“I have trouble with the way I eat.”
“I have a hard time loving myself because of my upbringing.”
“I am anxious every time I have to go to work.”
“I have racist thoughts that arise seemingly out of nowhere.”
Maybe you have a hard time loving your own race or ethnic group. Maybe you love the practices from a culture but not when folks in that culture speak their mother tongue around you. You’ve got to acknowledge the shadow of colonialism and racism, and how it may have affected you. When you name what’s going on, you’re helping the brain and body realize and understand what you’re feeling in times of your discomfort with this shadow.
This discomfort is a body response. It is what makes us want to flee and fight and freeze. Discomfort arises when we don’t feel safe. When discussions of racism first pop up, this may be the response of the body. All of a sudden, we come in contact with the wounds and the history we avoided for so long. Recognizing racism and colonial history is jarring for all of us. So we must be willing to become uncomfortable, and sit with this discomfort. The more time we spend with our racist and colonial shadow and its wounds, the more we may learn about ourselves. The next step would be figuring out what we want to do about it.
There’s a variety of ways to begin and support your anti-racist healing. You can move on to (more) anti-racist education. There are a number of guides and healers in social spaces to support you in this work. A simple google search for social justice education or Instagram search of the hashtag #decolonizewellness might help. You might choose to learn more about the histories of oppressed groups and people - if you have colonizer ancestry, it might be worth it to study the violence your own people perpetrated. How do you think you might still be engaging with this violence?
If you already recognize the moments where you experience greater racial discomfort, it may be an opportunity to work on those moments. Maybe you begin to make a concerted effort to listen to BIPOC as they speak and share in work meetings. Maybe you begin to love your skin tone through affirmations and journaling, and begin to relish being in the sun. The possibilities are endless when you tend to and befriend your shadow.
As you begin to sit with your colonial shadow, I ask you to remember the following. We often react to stimuli around us instantaneously. This can be with the body, or with a thought in the mind. Our first thought or response is often what society has conditioned us to believe. Sometimes it’s negative and racist and hurtful and harmful. You might feel guilty after having your reaction, and that’s ok. It’s actually lovely that you noticed having it at all. Your secondary reaction to your subconscious instinct is what you want to listen to and contend with. With time, the second conscious thought can begin to take the place of the unconscious thought. I think that’s kind of beautiful, don’t you?
Look at your identity. Look at your intersections. Ask yourself some of the below questions. You aren’t meant to judge yourself and your actions, you’re just meant to notice them. In this way you can start to see why it’s so important for us to acknowledge our colonial and racist shadow. I hope you might recognize what feelings, emotions and physical discomforts you’ve been holding in because of racism and colonialism.
What was the hardest thing to learn about my colonial/colonized ancestry? What did I feel in body and mind upon learning this about myself and my ancestry?
What racist or colonial thought have I had recently? How immediately did I recognize myself having this thought?
How have I perpetuated this cycle of racism and colonialism and passed this harm on to others around me, whether children or adults?
Can I give myself a bit of kindness in acknowledging these shadows? Can I acknowledge that they are not the true me, but what society has conditioned me to believe? How does it feel to recognize what I have internalized?
How can I be better to those around me and open myself up to my racial discomfort?
Are there amends I wish I could make? Can I write them down, or visualize myself making those amends to myself or others?
Why do I want to acknowledge my racist and colonial shadow? What am I doing this for?
