Dear Brown People: Stop Saying the n-word, Start Saying Black Lives Matter
This is an older article I had published on Feb 1, 2017, and the thoughts in this piece are from before that time. However, I believe my words are still relevant as we continue to improve our allyship and brown solidarity with Black lives. Sit with any discomfort you experience, and take note of any emotions that come up. Black lives matter.
It isn't my place to speak for Black people, but I believe it is my responsibility to ensure that I am an ally and confront the wrongs in my own community. This article is for brown [read: South Asian/Desi] people who have likely grown up in similar scenarios as those I have faced in my family and community. We profit so much from Black culture and Black resistance, and never take the time to acknowledge and understand this. It's our duty to advocate for our brothers and sisters, and correct our actions and the actions of those around us when micro and macro-aggressions occur.
With that said, it's time to stop saying the n-word, and start saying Black lives matter.
Now, this isn’t an article where I try to act holier than thou - I used to say the n-word. I didn’t understand the intersections of racism in the past, so I rapped it, and I sang it. I thought its use by people of colour was okay, because we all faced racism. That was super shitty of me, and I wish I could take it back. Unfortunately I can’t, but I can continue to be a better ally now that I understand more about racism and our intersections. The same goes for you, reader. The beautiful thing is that we can all learn to be better to one another every single day.
The person I was greatly participated in micro and macro-aggressions in the past, but I've been educating myself about my wrongs, and have been working to correct them. Being an ally to all BIPOC is a never-ending process, but the self-reflection, advocacy, listening and learning can help us inspire change at a grassroots level. So, let’s be there for blackness like blackness has been for us. Le't’s start with the n-word.
When I was younger, downtown Toronto was still diverse, and I grew up in a lower middle class area with many BIPOC. This meant that I was constantly around people who shared my skin colour - Black, Desi, Asian, Latino, etc. Our melanin gave us something in common: It meant we weren't white, and didn't experience the same level of privilege as white folk - this is something I learned at the very young age of about 6. Now, when you’re a young brown child in Toronto, the dominant cultural groups around you are either white or Black. For the most part you’re able to retain your own culture’s diversity at home, but in a school or public setting, white and Black culture take dominance. As a young brown child in a lower middle class area, you begin to take on dominant Black culture as your own, because that is where you can see more of yourself and your classmates. I want to come back to the above, but first I want to make note of how our intersections can still create difference. Even while I was able to see myself in Black culture, being brown in this country still meant a number of things. It meant:
You will never quite "belong".
You will "belong" more than other BIPOC.
You fit in with the model minority myth.
Your brownness will be held above blackness.
Why are these 4 points important? They reveal how our identity intersections converge to give us varying amounts of privilege. As an example, the 2016 census revealed that Toronto was majorly a city of BIPOC, and while this might look like greater representation and diversity for all of us, understanding our intersections reveal how very little has changed in terms of what white privilege will do for you. Company executive teams are still majorly white, BIPOC are being pushed out of a city that is getting more and more unaffordable, and resumes with names that don’t sound Anglophonic are being thrown in the trash. Understanding how our intersections work can help us see how we all carry varying levels of privilege, which is something I’m still continuing to learn.
Now, back to our 4 points. While each of these points work in tandem to promote white power and privilege, I'm mostly concerned with the last one.
Many of the South Asians I know succumb to the racism we've been taught through whiteness and continue to be anti-Black, even while we ask for greater equality for ourselves. This occurs while we take from and benefit from the dominant Black culture - folks who are the reason we have many of the rights we enjoy in Canada. In an effort to fit in with the model minority myth, we are quick to disparage Black people - think about the things your parents might say, or even comments you hear about skin colour around you. Let me give you an example of my own from my high school days.
I once created a Facebook event for my friends. I crafted a witty event description with all of the necessary details - but that description came complete with Biggie lyrics that used the n-word. None of my invitees thought it odd, until one of my Black girlfriends saw it. She immediately told me not to use it, and here’s where I exhibit my own racism and lack of intersectional understanding.
I said no. I said that I didn't think it was a problem because:
"They were just lyrics!"
"I understand your struggle! We're both discriminated against!"
"No one else is offended!"
How messed up was that? How much privilege did I display? How oppressive was I? I didn't talk to a single Black person when trying to understand why my position wasn't okay. Instead, other people of colour and white people helped convince me that I was never in the wrong. While engaging with Black culture (Biggie), I neglected to respect Black people. I oppressed my friend further, thus becoming a part of the whiteness that I should have been acting against. Deleting the lyric to make my friend feel more comfortable wouldn’t have been a difficult thing to do at all!
Although I removed the lyric in the end, I did so grudgingly, without understanding the need for real allyship and solidarity. This article is a direct result of my micro-aggression and need to apologize for it. Thank you my friends, for helping me learn to be better, and not letting go of me in the process. I'm sorry for every instance in which I've done you wrong, and hope that I can continue to overcome any and all of my oppressive behaviour.
Brown people. We need to realize that we are guests to Black culture, and need to respect it and understand our place within it. Whiteness pits POC against one another; we are entered into a hierarchical system where we all come after the whiteness at the top. When we, brown people, don't work to stand up for or support Black lives, we align with the oppressor, and work against the people who fought for our right to belong here on a "politically equal" playing field. Let’s be frank - whiteness doesn't give a shit about people of colour. Why do we work so hard to gain acceptance from it? We constantly put down other POC and stereotype them to bring our own culture closer to whiteness (which is why the model minority structure was diabolically created). Instead of catering to this classist and racist ideal, our own means to success should revolve around supporting one another to break free of whiteness and the internalized hatred of self that it brings.
Whether it's you, your friends, or your family, anti-blackness needs to be spoken against and challenged.
The n-word is not our word. We did not endure the suffering that Black folks have been through to be here. We don't get to reclaim it. Instead, we can show our support for Blackness and Black culture by speaking up against inequality, and participating in Black healing when we are welcomed. We need to be allies and confront our own anti-Black racism. Whether it's you, your friends, or your family, anti-blackness needs to be spoken out against and challenged. When BIPOC work together, we can begin to dismantle the oppressive whiteness around us, and additionally participate in healing and decolonization of self.
We must actively make an effort to confront the racism in our own communities. This is a never-ending process - trust me, I'm still working on it. Start with simple changes and actions, and build up from there.
Stop saying the n-word. Start saying black lives matter.
